📖 Cat Dimension — Mythology

⚠ This article contains classified information. Some sections have been redacted by order of Frijol.

:: CONTENTS ::

The Great Frijol
1. Origin
2. Ascension to Power
The Entity (The Alien)
Prophecies
Legends of the Cat Dimension

1. The Great Frijol

1.1 Origin

Little is known about Frijol's origins. Records indicate he simply appeared one day, already fully formed and already judging everything around him. No birth certificate exists. Attempts to obtain one were redacted redacted redacted.

According to the oldest known texts of the Cat Dimension, Frijol was discovered in a state of profound sleep, from which he awoke only to eat, judge, and return to sleep. Scholars believe this cycle is the foundation of all Cat Dimension culture.

"He looked at me. I understood nothing. He already knew everything." — JustZima, chosen human of Frijol

1.2 Ascension to Power

Frijol did not claim power. Power simply recognized him and moved aside. On the day of his ascension — date unknown, possibly classified — all cats in the Cat Dimension simultaneously turned to face the same wall. This is considered the official moment of coronation.

✦ Note: Frijol has never confirmed nor denied being a deity. He has also never denied it.

2. The Entity

At some point — no one agrees on when — an entity appeared in the Cat Dimension. It was immediately classified as The Entity or Mimis due to its complete and total lack of awareness of its surroundings.

The Entity does not know where it is. The Entity does not know how it got here. The Entity does not know about Frijol, the Cat Dimension, or the wall-staring rituals. The Entity knows nothing.

"Bro doesn't know ANYTHING." — official Cat Dimension classification report

Frijol observed The Entity for exactly 3 minutes upon its arrival, then walked away. This is the longest Frijol has ever observed anything that was not a wall or a food bowl. Researchers believe this indicates The Entity may be of great cosmic significance, or possibly just funny to look at.

⚠ Current status of The Entity: still here. Still doesn't know anything.

3. Prophecies

The Three Sneezes

It is written that when Frijol sneezes three times in a row, a great event shall occur. The nature of this event is completely redacted sorry. The last recorded triple sneeze happened on ██/██/████. No one speaks of what followed.

The Empty Bowl Prophecy

When the bowl of Frijol runs empty and no human attends to it within 3 minutes, the Cat Dimension enters a state of Critical Instability. This has happened many times. Humanity has not learned.

The Final Judgment

According to ancient texts, at the end of all things, Frijol will look at each human being directly in the eyes for exactly 4 seconds. What this means is unknown. Frijol has not commented.

4. Legends of the Cat Dimension

The Wall

All cats stare at walls. In the Cat Dimension, the walls stare back. What they see has never been confirmed. What they report to Frijol is classified under LEVEL 9 CAT CLEARANCE.

The 3 AM Protocol

Every night at exactly 3:00 AM, all residents of the Cat Dimension are required to run at full speed from one end of their territory to the other for no reason. The origin of this tradition is lost to history. Compliance is mandatory. Frijol enforces this personally.

The Chosen Human

Once per generation, Frijol selects a human to serve as his representative in the non-cat world. The selection process is unknown. The current chosen human is JustZima. He was not asked. He was informed.

✦ This article is considered complete by Frijol standards. Frijol has reviewed it. Frijol blinked once. This is approval.

Cat Dimension Wiki :: last edited by FRIJOL :: accuracy not guaranteed :: reality optional